My Son and DIL Are Too Busy for Me… But I’m Learning to Cope

 

Another day. Another quiet morning.

No one knocked on my door. No one called my name.

My son and daughter-in-law have their own lives. They don’t have time for me, and I can’t make them remember. 

But I can’t sit here waiting. I need to do something for myself.

David, my son…ever since he got married, things changed. His wife, Sian, was always polite, but I could feel it—there was no space for me in their life. They had their own family now.

Photo for illustration | Pinterest

I picked up the phone and dialed. Sian answered…

"Oh, hi, Mum!" she said.

"Hello, love. I was just wondering how you all are. It’s been a while."

"Oh, yes, sorry, we’ve been so busy. You know how it is with the kids' school, work, everything."

I nodded, though she couldn’t see me. "Of course. I just—well, I miss you all."

Silence. Then a little laugh. "Oh, Mum, you should get out more! Join a club or something. It’s not good to sit alone all day."

Not good. As if I chose this.

"Yes, maybe I will," I replied.

We spoke a few more minutes—small talk, nothing real. Then she had to go.

Photo for illustration | Pinterest


I put the phone down and sighed. 

I couldn’t make them care. I couldn’t make them remember me. But I could stop feeling sorry for myself.

My son and daughter-in-law have their own lives. They don’t have time for me, and I can’t make them remember. 

But I can’t sit here waiting. I need to do something for myself,” is what I wrote down in my journal.


It is where I put the thoughts I can’t say out loud. The disappointments, the loneliness, the little aches of being forgotten. 

Photo for illustration | Pinterest

But it’s also where I remind myself, “Bad days don’t have to stay bad. I can turn them into something else. A lesson, a moment, maybe even an opportunity.”

So tonight, I write:

What’s going well?

✔ I am healthy.

✔ I have a warm home.

✔ I still enjoy baking.

(No action needed—these are blessings.)

What’s not going well?

✘ I feel lonely.

✘ My son and daughter-in-law don’t visit.

✘ I spend too much time waiting for them to remember me.

(Can I control this? Yes. Then I must take action.)

What have I been doing to resolve this loneliness?

"I wait. I hope for a call, a visit. But waiting changes nothing."

What negative thoughts have I been running in my head about this?

"Maybe they don’t care. Maybe I don’t matter to them anymore. Maybe I’m just a burden."

I pause. Are these thoughts true, or is loneliness making them louder?

There have been times when I felt like giving up. Accepting that this is just how life is now. But I didn’t. Why?

"Because deep down, I still want connection. I still believe in kindness. Maybe I’ve been looking in the wrong place."

I close the journal and glance at the cupcakes on my counter. Too many for one person.

Assessing my routine on a bad day, what do I do?

"Sit. Stare out the window. Feel invisible. What could I do instead?"

Take action

I wrap a cupcake in a napkin, slip on my coat, and step outside. 

Photo for illustration | Pinterest


Mr. Hughes lives a few doors down. His house is always quiet now. No visitors, no laughter.I place the cupcake on his doorstep, knock softly, and walk away.

The next morning, I open my door and find a small note waiting for me.

"Thank you. That cupcake made my day."

That night, I write again.

Photo for illustration | Pinterest

"Today, I didn’t wait. I reached out first. 

Loneliness knocked today, but I answered differently. 

Instead of waiting, I gave. And for the first time in a while, I don’t feel so alone."








6 Comments

  1. 😍 Beautiful!

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  2. Thank you, I have a husband but I can relate ❤️

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    1. I'm glad you do. Just this morning someone told me "It's not their job to entertain you" but it's really hard and something we just can't ignore 💔 Sending my love to you ❤️❤️

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