My Son Abandoned Me for Years, But Now He’s Back to Ask for Money, “Can’t You Just Get Over It? I Need This Money, Mom.”

When my marriage fell apart, I thought I could handle the heartbreak.

But I never imagined I’d lose my son too.

Danny, my son, was just 14 when he chose his father and his new family over me—the big house, the fancy vacations, and a stepmom who baked cookies and let him break the rules.

I had a tiny apartment, a strained smile, and a broken heart.

I tried to understand. He was a teenager, and I couldn’t compete with the life his father offered.

But as the years went by, my calls went unanswered.

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(Text Messages)

Mom: "Danny, I hope you’re doing well. I miss you. Let me know if you need anything."

Mom: "Happy birthday, my sweet boy! I’m so proud of you. Would love to celebrate with you. Call me?"

Mom: "It’s Christmas. I left a gift for you with your aunt. I’d love to see you. Even just for a coffee."

Mom: "I saw you graduated. You looked so handsome in the pictures. Wishing I could’ve been there to cheer you on. Love you always."

Every message hung unanswered. I stopped texting for years until one day I received a Facebook notification:

Son: "Hey, Mom. It’s me. Can we meet up?"

Mom: "Danny? Oh my God, is it really you?"

Son: "Yeah. I wanted to talk. Are you free this weekend?"

Mom: "Of course! I’m free anytime. How about the park on Maple Street? I’d love to see you."

Son: "Yeah, that works. 2 p.m. on Saturday?"

Mom: "Yes! I’ve missed you so much. I can’t wait to see you."

Son: "Cool. See you then."

I stared at the screen, re-read the messages, a mix of hope and fear bubbling inside her.

What could he want after all these years? I imagined a reunion filled with apologies and second chances.

Son: "You must be wondering why I contacted you."

He finally said, breaking the silence.

At 60, I had spent a decade waiting for this moment.

Mom: "I won't lie, Danny. I’ve wondered for ten years. I’ve imagined a hundred reasons. Are you okay?"

Son: "I need something from you."

Mom: "After ten years, that's all you have to say? Not even a ‘How are you, Mom?’"

Son: "Look, I didn’t come here for a guilt trip. I need $20,000 for law school. Dad can’t afford it."

Mom: "So that’s why you’re here. Not to reconnect, not to talk—just for money?"

Son: "I figured you’d want to help your son succeed. You always said you loved me."

Mom: "I do love you, Danny. I’ve always loved you. But love isn’t a transaction. For years, I sent you texts, calls, letters—nothing. You ignored every single one."

Son: "It was hard, okay? I had a lot going on. You didn’t make it easy either. You couldn’t provide the life I wanted."

Mom: "Because I couldn’t buy you the latest phone? Because our apartment wasn’t as big as your dad’s house? Is that why you shut me out?"

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Son: "You don’t get it. I had stability with Dad. Carla was—"

Mom: "Your stepmother. The woman who helped your father lie to me. And you chose them over me because they had more to give."

Son: "It wasn’t just that. You kept dragging us into your mess. All the crying, the bitterness—"

Mom: "My mess? I lost my husband and my son in one blow. I was trying to hold on to you. You think it was easy, living with nothing but the hope you’d come back?"

Son: "You’re still living in the past. Can’t you just get over it? I need this money, Mom. I deserve it."

Silence took place…

Mom: “God, I hoped that when you were ready, you’d want to know me, not just what I could give you."

Son: "Here we go. You’re gonna make this about you, aren’t you? It’s always about you."

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His words slapped me, but I kept my voice steady.

Mom: "I was never enough for you. You made that clear when you chose your father and his perfect family over me.

“When you called me an embarrassment. When you told me you didn’t want me near you. Do you have any idea what that did to me?"

Son: “This again? Mom, I had a better life with Dad. I had friends. I had a nice house. You were living in that tiny apartment with nothing. What was I supposed to do?"

Tears burned behind my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.

Mom: "You were supposed to love me. I may not have had money, but I loved you. I was your mother."

Son: “Well, love doesn’t pay for law school. Are you going to help me or not?"

At that moment, I thought of all the nights I’d cried over him, the therapy sessions, the prayers, the desperate hope that he’d come back for me, not for my wallet.

Mom:

“No, Danny. I won’t give you the money.”

Son (angrily): "You’re ruining my life! I need this! You owe me!"

Mom: “I owe you nothing. I spent years wondering where you were and how you were doing. I can’t be your ATM. I wanted to be your mother, but I won’t let you use me."

Son: "So, that’s it? You’re just going to abandon me like you always say I did to you?"

Mom: "I never abandoned you. I was right here, every birthday, every holiday, waiting for you to want me. I just won’t let you hurt me again."

Son: "You’re ruining my life! You’ll regret this when you’re old and alone!"

Mom: "I’ve been alone for ten years, Danny. I think I’ll survive."

He walked away, while I scrolled through years of unanswered texts, birthday wishes, and holiday greetings.

“Merry Christmas, Danny! I love you.”

“I heard you graduated! So proud of you.”

“I’m here if you ever want to talk. Miss you.”

I took a deep breath and opened a fresh message.

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“Goodbye, Danny. I love you, always. I hope you find peace.”

I pressed send, then went to my settings and blocked his number.

It wasn’t out of anger but out of a need for self-preservation.

I had spent too many years waiting, too many nights crying over the son who had chosen someone else’s love over mine.

But today, I was done waiting. I was done hoping for an apology that may never come or for a relationship that may never be what it once was.

I finally understand that closure doesn’t always come from fixing what’s broken. Sometimes, it comes from accepting the truth and having the courage to set boundaries.

If you’ve struggled with nagging family members—who won’t miss a chance to make you feel guilty and responsible for their misfortune—then you need to define specific behaviours that you’d no longer entertain from them.

Repeating specific affirmations is the first step to help you set boundaries:

“I’m allowed to take up space without guilt or apology.”
“My peace matters more than pleasing everyone around me.”
“I do not have to earn love. They are mine by right.”

You can download this list of boundaries to assist you, avoid being taken advantage of, and feeling overwhelmed.

Additional downloads: My bad-day support kit; When overthinking won’t stop; or if you’re questioning what matters most.

This story reflects one perspective and is shared to spark discussion and connection. While inspired by real situations, some details may have been altered for privacy and clarity.

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